Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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