More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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