I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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