Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
