I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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