i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
