I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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