shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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