It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
