apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
