Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
