As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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