His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You made out with two different species that night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
