Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
accomplished twins. life is a go
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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