I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
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Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
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They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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