Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
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We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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