you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
