all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
