her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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