A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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