Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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