Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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