don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
