Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
