you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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