I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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