i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
