he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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