I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
