Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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