# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
