I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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