Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize