It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just forgot I was standing up.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize