JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
