Your tits are I can't wait for
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
no you cant smoke seaweed
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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