What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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