i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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