it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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