Cold hands, warm shart.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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