No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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