Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
A bitchslap is in order.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
