You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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