Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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