Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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