im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
