i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You smell like stripper and shame
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
