Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He told me they were just razor bumps!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
