Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
