Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
