did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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