Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
