Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
