WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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