god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
my poor anus
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
