so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
